The Teaching of Kindness

The Teaching of Kindness

My kids and I have been back to school for three weeks.  I’m already starting to feel some of the “how are we going to get this all done?” stress that we all feel from time to time.  Perhaps it is because I’ve been busy making lesson plans, looking forward not just to the week ahead, but to Christmas and beyond, trying to make sure I’ve got us on the right pacing to get through the books in good time.  Maybe it is because August has been such a busy month filled with things that take us out during the school day, and I feel like I’m trying to cram in a little schoolwork wherever possible.

In all likelihood it is probably a great deal of both, and next week when we will have a full, uninterrupted week of school and I can really gauge how things are going, I’ll feel a lot better about the whole thing.

"THE TEARS IN HER EYES TOLD ME I HAD LET MY IMPATIENCE GET OUT OF BOUNDS."

Such rational thoughts, however, were not in my mind when we sat down in front of our math book yesterday.  “We must get through this math lesson,” I thought, “It’s only two pages, and it’s not that hard, we can get it done in this little timeslot…”

Clearly I had reckoned without my student, who had struggled with this lesson on her own the day before and was going to need my gentle guidance to get through it.  I whisked us through the first page and on to the second.  It was while she was pondering the mystery of six plus two that I lost it, “Six plus two, sweetheart,” using the endearment in anything but an endearing way, “What is so hard about six plus two?”

The tears in her eyes told me that I had let my impatience get out of bounds.  Chastened, I apologized.  We both calmed down.  I presented the problem again, more gently this time, and just like that, the mystery was solved – eight!

Over the years, my moms, my sisters and I have discussed the application of various aspects of the verses in Proverbs 31 that deal with the godly woman.  Can “She brings her food from afar” be applied today by shopping the sales at various grocery stores to help a tight budget?  Does “rising while it is yet night” apply even after the kids have been up three or four times during the night?  And what exactly is a distaff?

The verse that I think applies most specifically to my homeschool is verse 26, “She opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”  How often I need that verse applied in my dealings with my children!  It is one I return to often, reminding myself on those frustrating days to keep the “teaching of kindness” on my tongue and not to respond with impatience or frustration.  It is the verse with which I must confront myself when I have failed, and seek forgiveness and renewed strength from my heavenly Father.

Three years into our homeschooling journey, I’m learning how to make sure we get everything done without stressing myself out.  I’m learning too that there are some days, even whole weeks when I should leave the books on the shelf and focus on the other necessities of life.  As long as I am conscientious to give school top priority most days, there is no harm in taking a day off now and then when necessity dictates.

I hear from other homeschool moms, those whose children are in high school and beyond, that those early years are tough, but keeping in mind the bigger picture can help when it seems like getting through this particular workbook page is going to make all the difference between going to Harvard and being completely uneducated.  What matters now is teaching my children gently and with respect for their developing understanding.

As we begin another school year, may we guide our children with “words of wisdom and the teaching of kindness.”

"IT WILL NEVER HURT YOU TO BE KIND."